I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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