I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
