Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
