just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
