Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
