Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
