do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
dude. I can hear the air.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
