M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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