This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
