hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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