haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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