But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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