so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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