yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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