the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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