your thong is hanging out like whoa
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
