see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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