You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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