It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
