So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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