remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I AM VODKA MAN
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
