I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
