maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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