The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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