508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
