well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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