Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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