And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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