This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
