i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
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oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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