she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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