All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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