why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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