This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
