I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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