He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
dude. I can hear the air.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize