We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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