I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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