I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
