Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
