drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
