By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
