Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
