I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
