the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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