tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
