yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
