...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
