how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize