I am in a vortex of obligation.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
