i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?