exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
