Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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