then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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