when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
