why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
